Intercultural Relationship Tips & Help- A Sneak Peek View Into Reasons Your In-Laws May Not Like or Accept You
Friend,
is it true that those who are ‘supposed’ to be your in-laws (at present or in
the future) do not like your face, accept you or even desire to have anything
whatsoever do you with the likes of you? Well, do not despair by losing hope or
giving up in defeat; something can still be done nonetheless.
In this
article, we shall take time to consider a few reasons or excuses why there is
so much hostility or biases against the fact that you are in love with their
son/daughter brother/sister.
To get
started right away, can you categorically state any bias your 'future or
present in-laws’ may have against your people, race, culture or language?
Or is
it anything that concerns just you in particular?
It
might not be quite obvious that whatever you may have perceived as resentment
or disapproval of your connection with your lover at present (whether it is
from his/her family members, relatives, ‘good’ neighbors, etc) may be closely
related to your background.
You
need to be aware that people in general no matter how remote it might appear
oftentimes relate to or react towards any past event, happenings or encounters
had with your kind/type of people.
Here
are some suggestions to consider:
1. Can
you remember any sad experience, bad treatment or ugly encounter that happened
and someone from your background featured prominently?
2. Could
the hostility against you be as a result of lack of trust especially when it
has to do with unpleasant historical stories shared or handed down from one
generation to the other about your race, people, culture or language?
3. Do
you realize that oftentimes the fear from any perceived limitation or inability
to effectively communicate and equally relate with you might be responsible
considering the fact that you are from a different culture.
4. Lies,
fables and myths as to whether you would make a better husband/lover or a
respectful and well behaved wife/spouse at times may make for the perceived
rejection.
5.
Statistics of crime records, participation in neighborhood gangs, terrorism,
divorces, broken marriages, failed relationships, etc known to involve your
people may strongly contribute to your ‘in-laws’ not accepting you in their
midst.
6.
Literacy level, personal cleanliness and hygiene, gender tolerance and social
disposition and political inclinations at times also serve as criteria for
acceptance.
7.
Known norms and values, ideologies and practices, religion, beliefs and
lifestyles, etc about your people or culture equally count in things such as
maintaining a relationship with your lover (boyfriend or girlfriend).
There
are others more but these have been mentioned to give you the impetus that you
still need to work.
You
will do well (where this is allowable) to find out (preferably from your
boyfriend or girlfriend) reasons or excuses put forward by his/her people for
not appreciating the fact that both of you are involved in a relationship
together.